Day Two -- I made it so far.

This has been a crazy day. I went and picked up my friend and we went to the Ale House to watch NFL Sunday Ticket. I love to sit back and watch the games on all of their plasma screens. Sometimes it is sensory overload but in a good way. That has been good but after dinner, life has become tough. I got a call from my friend who was heading down to SoBe (that's south beach for those of you not in florida. don't worry, I didn't know it either when I first moved down here.) I wasn't that moved except there were these two fine women who were going with him. I know this because they stopped by my place. They were so hot. Like jumped out of the magazine and into my couch. It took everything in me to say no. But after they left I sat with my cell phone in my hand talking to myself for about an hour. Call -- don't call -- call -- don't call. I had to get out so I went to the mall. Not the best place to be when you don't have any cash. I went and walked around. Lucky for me, the thing that I wanted doesn't come out till next week. Yippee!! I came back home and turned on the Cowboys / Redskins game. But then the craving started. My body was saying, we have to go out. Get dressed!!! My mind was saying no. I eventually came to the internet and started searching everything. Mission: Impossible came on and now at 10pm, I think I'm ok. I call this a victory.

People don't understand what an addiction really is. I don't think you can ever really know without having one, if that makes any sense. The fact that it's Sunday was never an occurence for me. My body always gets it's fifth wind of the day and wants to get going. I call is insomnia. It's like the feeling you get from drugs or alcohol. But for me, it's just being out. I could just be walking around the mall and feel fine. Being stuck in my hotel room makes me feel like I'm going insane. Good thing I'm not in prison because if I ever got send to solitary, I would go crazy. Well, I think I'm going to take my small victory and head to bed. The way I look at it is this. I didn't spend any money this evening and that's good. That's real good.

I've survived my first weekend. Now I have to attack Monday night. (Deep Breath) Good night all.