14 days & a lot better....

So, it has been a while since I last posted. My job has been crazy. Busy going here, there, everywhere. Plus, I've been trying to get situated for the big move. Next wednesday I am heading up to NYC and then home for the holidays. Unfortunately, my flight is coming back to Miami at 7am on New Years Day. I'm not disappointed about not partying on New Years Eve. That was my goal. If I have to be up early to travel, I won't go out.

I've decided to cut down tremendously on drinking, period. My New Years resolution (or one of them) is to not drink at all in 2008. My other goal is to cut down on my debt considerably and to get back in shape. How am I to do this? Well, I'm going to start biking to work and writing down all my expenses and spending more time doing things that don't cost money. Playing my Wii. Exercising, finding a church to get involved in. Pick up reading where I left off, etc. My biggest worry is being alone. That is what I am scared of the most. I've been very lucky to have always been surrouned by so many people in my life. Whether it was working at a bank, theme park or on a ship. Going from that social environment to a life of solitude (or very close to it) has been tough. I think that I've beat my depression though. It's been hard. This whole year has taken a toll on me. But, I've done very well. But, exactly how well...

I've paid of nearly $15K of my debt. I've managed to go to Europe and not visit any clubs, houses of ill repute (streetwalkers), bars or coffee shops. I even went to Amsterdam and walked through the Red Light without stopping. That doesn't sound like much but the temptation in the past was too much to pass up. That's what happens when your depressed but you keep it all inside. You think you can work it out on your own. Some do but the most don't or get in too deep before they realize they need help. Luckily for me, I got help at the right time. The only thing that I have to work on is being more honest than I already am. You don't want people to know that you need help. I feel like the person that everyone comes to help but if I need help, who can I turn too. Nobody ever thinks you need help. You are the one that helps everyone else. It becomes a nasty spiral and even I thought that I could beat it.

The best thing is that you have to move forward. Stop living in the past and make choices to better your future. Never give up. That's the old fashioned american dream and I'm going for it. Will next year be any easier. No, it will be harder. But I'm going to hit it head first. That's the only option I have.

Cheers everyone. Have a good night.