Back to packing....

So, it's the last night on the ship and it's 10pm and I'm almost packed. That has to be a world record for me. Usually, I have to be off the ship at 10am and I'm starting to pack at 8am. I've basically finished all of my work and am now just waiting for the ship to get back to NYC. Then I have to fight with morning rush hour, get a taxi to LaGuardia and hopefully make my flight. Then it's off to Midway, ride the "L" to Union Station and then the Amtrak to Milwaukee.

I'm hoping my brother remembers to come and get me. Cause that would really suck if he's not there. :-)

The christening was pretty hectic. The passengers loved it and didn't know what was happening behind the scenes. Everything went off perfectly and didn't know that we were going crazy all the way up to and during the event. Even this morning, 12 hours after the ceremony we were still trying to get everything set. Just another new ship in NYC. I don't know what I'm going to do next year when we don't have a new ship. HA!

I've been doing really well on the eight days I've been here. Have not spent any money except for a few christmas gifts. No sushi bar, steakhouse, drinking in the bars. It's funny but I've been getting to bed around 10pm and waking up feeling good at 8am. I know, I know, getting older. We all do it. No use fretting about it. :-)

I'm excited and scared to go home. Excited because I'll get to spend x-mas with my nephew and niece but I'm scared to break the news to my parents. I mean, who out there wants to tell their parents anything bad. Sometimes, secrets should stay secrets and we all need to keep our skeletons in the closet. We all have them. But when it starts to affect your life then you need to do something about it. I've been going over my "speech" so to say all week. Running it over in my mind. No fabrications at all. Just the plain old truth about what going on. I guess maybe I'm not scared as disappointed. I have to keep my head up and keep reaching for the goal. As DC Talk says, "I was down and I was low. I didn't think there was no place to go.....I had to learn the hardway...." Time to continue putting what I've learned into motion. I've made two much progress in the last two months to stop now. :-)

Well, it's time to get my laundry and finish packing. Cheers!!!

Sunday Football

I am from Green Bay and hence love watching the Packers play every Sunday. I also work in an industry where I travel a lot and sometimes I realize that I might not be able to watch the game. It sucks but that's part of life. So, I don't understand why some people can't understand that. Good case in point....Patriots fans. Here we are on a cruise ship at sea and we are too far away to get the game. So, we don't have the game. Whine, Whine, Whine....get the game, get the game. If the game was so damm important, stay home and watch it.

OK, that's my rant for today. I'm going to go online and see what's happening with my favorite European Football team, the Arsenal Gunners. Big game today against cross town rivals Chelsea. Dirty Blues!!!!

Alright, the swells are starting to get bad and I need to get lower. Cheers.

It's cold up north...

My job has taken me north into a heck of a snowstorm in Boston, Mass. It has not bothered me very much because this is what December is to me. Growing up in the Midwest was great because we had four seasons. Christmas is not christmas without snow. The humid winter days in Miami were getting me depressed. Now, it's been really cold up here. Almost an uncomfortable cold but still pleasant at the same time.

I've got my budget set up for next year. I've decided to move into a two bedroom with a good friend of mine. I have a one bedroom right now and it's nice but I can save about $600 or more by moving. That will pay my car payment and my IRA each month. Also, more money that I can put on my debt. If next year goes as planned, I should only have a few months after that and be debt free. Yippee!!!

Otherwise, not much else is happening. Working a lot on different projects and trying to get as much sleep as I can. It's hard when you're on the road. Nothing ever feels as good as home.

I've also got some good news. I'm working on stuff for the Travel Channel as well as starting to write a book. A book you say? Yep!! I was at Art Basel in South Beach which is one of the biggest art festivals in the world and I met a friend of a friend (which is how it always is). We started talking and had a pretty good conversation. He asked me if I ever thought about writing a book about my life. I never thought anyone would want to sit down and read about it but I told him that I have this blog and to check it out and see what he thinks. He did and then called me and asked me to write a treatment. So, I did and now he wants me to write a rough draft and we'll take it from there. I asked for an advance. He laughed...I was serious. Anyways, I'm going to start writing it with a plan to be done with it by next summer.

So, all in all things are looking up. The hardest part of this "recovery" will be when I head home for the holidays. Only the second time in the last 12 years. I think that I can finally get out of this funk and move onward and upward. Depression sucks. I can't get to sleep sometimes because I keep running the scenario in my mind. Sometimes I chicken out and then I feel even more guilty. When I wake up I think to myself, it's only a dream. But that dream is becoming a reality in about seven days. Gut check, time to take a deep breath and go for it. You will always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

I think I need some cold, crisp air. :-)

14 days & a lot better....

So, it has been a while since I last posted. My job has been crazy. Busy going here, there, everywhere. Plus, I've been trying to get situated for the big move. Next wednesday I am heading up to NYC and then home for the holidays. Unfortunately, my flight is coming back to Miami at 7am on New Years Day. I'm not disappointed about not partying on New Years Eve. That was my goal. If I have to be up early to travel, I won't go out.

I've decided to cut down tremendously on drinking, period. My New Years resolution (or one of them) is to not drink at all in 2008. My other goal is to cut down on my debt considerably and to get back in shape. How am I to do this? Well, I'm going to start biking to work and writing down all my expenses and spending more time doing things that don't cost money. Playing my Wii. Exercising, finding a church to get involved in. Pick up reading where I left off, etc. My biggest worry is being alone. That is what I am scared of the most. I've been very lucky to have always been surrouned by so many people in my life. Whether it was working at a bank, theme park or on a ship. Going from that social environment to a life of solitude (or very close to it) has been tough. I think that I've beat my depression though. It's been hard. This whole year has taken a toll on me. But, I've done very well. But, exactly how well...

I've paid of nearly $15K of my debt. I've managed to go to Europe and not visit any clubs, houses of ill repute (streetwalkers), bars or coffee shops. I even went to Amsterdam and walked through the Red Light without stopping. That doesn't sound like much but the temptation in the past was too much to pass up. That's what happens when your depressed but you keep it all inside. You think you can work it out on your own. Some do but the most don't or get in too deep before they realize they need help. Luckily for me, I got help at the right time. The only thing that I have to work on is being more honest than I already am. You don't want people to know that you need help. I feel like the person that everyone comes to help but if I need help, who can I turn too. Nobody ever thinks you need help. You are the one that helps everyone else. It becomes a nasty spiral and even I thought that I could beat it.

The best thing is that you have to move forward. Stop living in the past and make choices to better your future. Never give up. That's the old fashioned american dream and I'm going for it. Will next year be any easier. No, it will be harder. But I'm going to hit it head first. That's the only option I have.

Cheers everyone. Have a good night.